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The Impact We Have on Others

Posted on July 12, 2012 Written by savage Leave a Comment

Last Sunday, our pastor taught on 1 Timothy 3:1-16, which covers the requirements for being overseers (or “bishops”) and deacons in the church – leaders, basically, with different roles.

The term translated as “bishop” or “overseer” is Επισκοπῶν (“episkopon”), which is a supervisor. The role being described here has two other terms associated with it: πρεσβυτερίου (“presbuteriou”) in 1Tim 4:14, or “elder,” and ποιμένας (“poimenas,” “pastors”) in Ephesians 4:11 and others.

The description of the requirements for being an overseer really affected me, and it highlighted a conflict I don’t yet know how to resolve.

The requirements for an overseer can be seen in terms of external and internal loci, meaning that their focus (or “place,” which is what locus means) is either internal or external.

An overseer must be:

The requirements and their translations here are taken verbatim from the ESV. This is basically a simple enumeration of 1Tim 3:1-7.
  1. above reproach (external locus)
  2. the husband of one wife (internal locus)
  3. sober-minded (internal locus)
  4. self-controlled (internal)
  5. respectable (external)
  6. hospitable (internal)
  7. able to teach (internal)
  8. not a drunkard (internal)
  9. not violent but gentle (internal)
  10. not quarrelsome (internal)
  11. not a lover of money (internal)
  12. must manage his own household well (internal)
  13. must not be a recent convert (internal)
  14. must be well thought of by outsiders (external)

A “locus” in this case refers to who controls the validity of an attribute. You control your ability to cleave to one mate; therefore, “the husband of one wife” is an internal locus. Likewise, you control your own self-control; internal locus.

Some attributes are controlled by others, though.

Others can quarrel with you, but you have the ability to respond with kindness and not argue back in passion; therefore, “not quarrelsome” is an internal locus of control.

That said, “well thought of by outsiders…” — for better or for worse, that’s something the outsiders control, not you.

“You will be hated by all for my name’s sake,” Luke 21:17, ESV. If you’re a literalist — and I’m not —this virtually guarantees that no-one who is earnest in following Jesus can be a bishop. But I’m not a literalist to say that everyone must be hated by all or else they don’t follow Jesus.

You can act in a way such that outsiders should think well of you, but that doesn’t mean they will think well of you. What’s more, the Bible even suggests that we’ll be hated for His sake, which makes fulfillment of this requirement even more difficult.

Our pastor did walk through each of these in order, and I’m certainly not qualified to be an overseer even according to those factors for which I am entirely responsible, even through Christ’s help.

Yet the requirements that stood out to me, the ones that bother me the most, are the ones with external control.

Two circumstances play out here, applying to two different people (one of whom was me.)

As an example, consider: recently I chose to leave an IRC channel entirely. I’ve been struggling with some things lately, a matter of circumstance. The circumstances themselves aren’t very important, of course, but I mentioned my struggles in this IRC channel.

The response I received was enlightening, but not helpful. I was castigated for caring about these circumstances.

The interesting thing here is not that what the person castigating me was telling me was wrong. They were right, realistically; the things I’m enduring are frustrating, but in the end they’re a testament to the provision of God that these things are things I can easily handle and correct.

The issue I had was the delivery; it was offered in such a way that it was an insult to my character and witness, even though the reason I was saying it in the first place was because I was hurting in a mild way and needed support.

The response I received indicated that I’d failed the requirements for an overseer, as per 1Tim 3:7, which states that an overseer must be well thought of by others.

Another example, hopefully obscured sufficiently: someone was describing some difficult circumstances, saying that they were hurting. The response this person received was similar: a biting attack rather than a recognition of pain.

The thing about pain is that regardless of whether the pain is justified or not, it’s still pain.

The quandary I have is that I don’t know how to really understand 1Tim 3:7 in such a way that these responses don’t indicate a failure of compliance with the requirements of being an overseer. It’s not that everyone is called to be an overseer or pastor; I know I’m not! Yet compliance is a desirable thing, I think.

The observation I have is that I need to make sure that I’m not acting in such a way that others feel as I do right now, that a failure to meet an external requirement is laid at my feet without due cause.

Filed Under: Bible Study, Lifestyle Tagged With: bishop, overseer, pastor, respect, response

Thoughts for being leaders for our families

Posted on July 12, 2012 Written by savage Leave a Comment

The men’s study for Monday nights has started back up. This week, the fellow speaking (one of my church’s pastors) asked for a more interactive session, where men contributed some of their ideas for being “lead learners” for their families.

The text was the Sh’ma (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

In English, from the ESV:

4“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

“Pioneer Christian” is meant to be similar to “pioneer parent,” a parent who’s breaking a family cycle to “go out on his or her own.” It generally means you’re working with no support or infrastructure, as a pioneer would have had to do.

This particular pastor was a teaching pastor at his church years ago, and had this position despite being a “pioneer Christian,” meaning a Christian whose family was not Christian, and who had no family support or education in the faith. A mentor told him that he should become the “lead learner” for his church, meaning one who learns first and teaches as he learns.

It’s worth pointing out that this pastor is a fine man, a strong Christian, an honest person who is a wonderful example of an overseer in the tradition of 1 Timothy 3:1-7. He blesses those around him.

So he went into the Shema as a source text, showing us that this core statement of Judaism (and thus Christianity, being echoed by Jesus as the “Greatest Commandment” in Matthew 22:35-40) tells us, as leaders of our families, to be the same “lead learners,” to focus on our own lives in Christ such that we can help others in our families as well.

It was interesting feedback. From memory, and thus poorly quoted and incomplete to boot:

  • Find a mentor.
  • Love the Bible, and study it.
  • Study with your family.
  • Discipline yourself to make study a regular occurrence.

I wanted to add “be willing to fail” to the list – because one of the things I want my sons to know is that the attempt is the thing, not success. That isn’t to say that I want to try to fail, because I don’t.

But I want my sons to see me picking myself up, returning to the task until it’s finished or I have an alternative solution. I want them to see my dedication to accomplishment; I don’t want them to think any failure is the same as all failure.

One thing I’ve started doing recently: I’ve started praying with my family. I started taking time to pray for my family a few months ago, but they don’t see me praying for them; it’s something I can say that I do, without actually doing it.

But if I pray with them, they see the evidence of me taking the time, instead of thinking I’m spending some abstract moment perhaps in prayer for them – they know, without a doubt, that I’m committing time and energy to prayer, they see how I pray and when I pray.

They may not follow my example. They may not even believe my sincerity; that’s all right. Time will heal every issue there, by the grace of God. I just want them to see real evidence of someone taking time to pray for and with them, so that some day they might remember that old, grey, broken-down fellow who took the time to care, and lead the best he could.

And who knows? My sincere hope is that some day they exceed me in every way – and they now see the bar I’m trying to set in my own life.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: example, prayer, shema

We are but drops in a vast ocean of Time

Posted on May 30, 2012 Written by savage Leave a Comment

When I was young, a friend and I imagined a device like a watch, that would show you exactly how long it would be until you died. Then we thought about the impact of our lives on that clock: every cigarette would take minutes or hours away from the time you had, every hamburger, every time you worried it would take time off of your life… everything.

We decided that the expiry watches weren’t such a great idea after all.

The lesson the thought experiment gave us was the same lesson that Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album offered, in “Time”: there was no time to waste, that time marched on whether we were ready to participate or not; there is no practice round, there is no warm-up.

We are barely relevant to the time we have. We can affect it, to be sure, through choices we make – and such choices can be terminal. (“Sure, I’d love to text my American Idol votes while driving in the rain to McDonald’s! What could go wrong?”)

We are certainly powerless to extend the span of our days – the best we can do is to be able to make that span as full as God allows it to be. We can limit how much is taken from our lives; we cannot add to our time on this Earth.

If we are barely relevant to the time we have, how much less relevant are we to the coming of the Day of the Lord? Why do we worry about things that we cannot affect? Why do we not strive to make the most of what we have, while we have it?

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: lifespan, pink floyd, time

A Prayer

Posted on May 29, 2012 Written by savage Leave a Comment

Father, I do not believe it is your Will that my desire be fulfilled.

If that fulfillment is Your Will, and I am misunderstanding it, then please give me confidence through correction, and create the circumstances by which your Will might be fulfilled, even in this small thing, because I have no faith in this matter and I will resist its completion with every fiber of my being.

If my assumption and conviction is correct, then I beg of You that You show me some way to endure my own selfishness and pride.

I feel like I am at war with myself, that the edict of the body is a contrast with the edict of the Spirit, and I only desire what is good and right in Your eyes, not mine.

If it is Your Will that I attempt to endure as best I am able, and You do not desire to grant me some relief from my burden, so be it; Your Will supercedes my desires, and I only choose to serve You in any way I am able to.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: prayer, pride, self-control, selfishness

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